Somewhere Over that Rainbow...

You cut me out in little stars
and place me in the sky.
I lose my sense of time

You know me
How troubled I can be
but through your kaleidoscope
I let go.

Cuz you show me
the world as it could be
through your kaleidoscope it's beautiful

A tingle travels up my spine
a cluster of colors and twine
as we melt into wine
You know me
How troubled I can be
but through your kaleidoscope
I let go

Cuz you show me
the world as it could be
through your kaleidoscope
it's beautiful
Kaleidoscope- Kate Havnevik

   Every morning at approximately 6:15 in the morning I get up- dragging heavily, and workout. Within the last six months I have had the pleasure of my friend and neighbor to accompany me in this ritual. I'm not gonna lie, some mornings are sheer torture and I have found myself willing the alarm to be quiet, or sneaking a few extra minutes of much needed sleep. However after I'm finished I am NEVER sorry I did it.
   After the birth of my third child Hazel I decided that it was time for me to get my act together and take better care of my body. My pregnancy had reduced my size a fair bit and my muscles A GREAT deal and I felt that I was too young to feel that old in my body- that was almost six years ago. I didn't lose a bunch of weight, in fact as irony would have it I think I put some on, mostly because I wasn't throwing up with a vengeance anymore, but I started to feel SOOOO much better. And I could count on my body to do what I needed it to do. So I told myself I could sacrifice my time three to four times a week at first. After that I had two more babies and tried to work out to the end of my pregnancies- perhaps unwisely, but what a difference it made to my well being, and my recovery.
   Over the years I have done A LOT of different types of workouts, Cardio being the major player, and walking of course... Oh the miles I have walked, especially when I was training for The Weekend to End Breast Cancer... Weights, Yoga, Interval training, Kick boxing, Stripercize, Dancing- which I do all through my day, Belly dancing for a bit, Zumba, Running (not my fave), P90 X, and now my new love with which I am having great success- Turbo Fire. I discovered that I could get sweaty and all would still be well- in fact I felt BETTER! The biggest trial was trying to find time to do it with five children, and nursing babies- At first I would do it during afternoon naps when all the kids were down and I could have at least an hour to myself, but after some years that became a little tricky as not all the kids would nap and they would need attending- or I could find any number of special messes laying around my house when I was done.
   Sometimes when I would be exercising my kids would come in the room and ask me for things or complain or get in the way and it made me feel like screaming... Here I am exercising my fat body trying to do what's right, and show the Lord my gratitude and take care of what I've been given-when what I REALLY want to do is sleep- and I have to FIGHT to achieve said goal!!! A few years ago I remember doing the P90 X Ab ripper workout (crying while doing it)... and two of my daughters were sitting on the couch watching me- when one of them said as innocently as a five year old can- "It's harder for Mommy because those people aren't fat and Mommy is"... You see no good deed goes unpunished!!! And yet I needed and continue to need it.
   Then one day a few months ago, after separating our children from yet another mess making fiasco my friend suggested that we might have a better go of things if we got up early to workout... SIGH***
At first I flat out refused, feeling certain that I couldn't commit to that, and then through a series of promptings I felt like besides my laziness, there really WERE no drawbacks to said plan. I needed to change my night owl ways, but that was a good idea anyways. And so with a LOT of prayer here I find myself every morning (minus Sunday) following the Word of Wisdom.
   I remember my mother doing Jane Fonda's Light Impact Aerobics on and off through my childhood- in fact she had a RECORD of that workout even, but she had terrible knees and a few more babies then I do and so that tapered off unfortunately. And I can't help but wonder if she had kept it up if she might be here still- I know it's a moot point now, but it serves as a very serious reminder to me. 53 is MUCH too young to die in my opinion, and if this is what it takes to have energy and live a long and full life, than I am doing it.
   The point is we ALL know we should exercise- just like we all know we shouldn't eat potato chips and sugar or drink alcohol and smoke- but I'll be the first to admit that NO ONE else can make those choices for us. And I certainly won't be condemning anyone for not being as active as they 'could' be. Let me just say that it has made a difference to ME, and I can HONESTLY say that I have developed a testimony of the power of exercise and how NOTHING equals it. And finally after years of giving my body away to nurture/grow someone else I am having success, and for the first time since before Sadie I weigh only about 28lbs more than I did when I got married. When I told my husband that last night he was a little inscensed and informed me that he was going to start working out- I guess now that I FINALLY weigh less than him freaks him out? Although he recognises that it didn't happen by accident...
   So here's my thought; MOST of the time when we want something, we have to work for it, and a part of life is achieving balance. My hope is that our lives can be better balanced and give us the purpose and satisfaction that we both deserve and can have- even if it means having to work a little... or a LOT.